5 general pieces of advice for twenty-somethings.

you're a twenty-something, right? great- read up.

I am going to admit right off the bat that this is my first "wordy" blog post, so yeah, it might be crummy. Here is an upfront apology to my high school English teachers who taught me better than this. Why am I writing it, you ask? Because I'm sassy and I felt like it. 

Lately, I have seen many friends and friends of friends get married, or move away, or go on emotional rollercoasters, or all of the above. You know what? All of the above is ok, you're going to be ok, and life is going to be great. 

You're a 20-something, aren't you? Good, keep reading. 

Life is going to be great. If it isn't, change that. After all, you're in charge of the planning for your future. Yeah yeah yeah, I said it and it was corny but there is so much truth to that statement. I told myself all along that I would not be one to stick around my hometown after high school and hope employment would find me. I love my hometown, but I saw no opportunity for my dreams to flourish in that environment. I left. It was scary. But I got over it and decided that I needed to be scared of the future more often. 

You're still a 20 something, aren't you? Good, keep reading.

The future is so intimidating to young people. Surely (since you're 20, or something) you have experienced a little "fear of the unknown" type of thing already but I'm encouraging you to keep doing what makes you fearful. 

Oh, you're scared of moving out of state for college? It's scary, but do it. 

Oh, you're scared of going somewhere new without your friends? It's scary, but do it. 

Oh, you're scared of having to pay for college on your own? It's scary, but do it. 

Here is a list of a few things that have made me at least a little bit successful so far (I'm still alive, so that's a win, I guess.)

1. GO TO COLLEGE

At least give it a try. I know what some of you might be thinking, college isn't for everyone. However, employment should be. And guess what? You should probably get a college education if you want to be satisfied with a stable job for years to come. Stop making excuses and do something for yourself. Just sayin'. 

If your financial situation isn't stable it's ok! There are financial counselors at colleges for a reason. Get in touch with them and actually go after that major that you've been dreaming about.

2. MOVE AWAY

Yeah, this is probably the most terrifying thing after living at home your whole life. When I made the decision to go to a school three and half hours away (GO BEARCATS...meow), I knew leaving wouldn't be easy, but it made me appreciate everything so much more. Independence was the highest on this list (within reason, you crazy people). Of course, I also started to appreciate my family more, too. as time apart kept getting longer.

After being at college for a year and half, I moved to New York City for my first internship. Was it scary? YES. Would I do it all over again? YES x's 100,000.

Four moves, three cities, and two internships later, I'm now living in Florida. Moving around so much made me more cultured and independent. Where will I be in 8 months? Only time will tell. I'll be a moving pro by the time graduation rolls around.

The view from my first NYC apartment in Manhattan // West Village 

3. DON'T LET AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP PREDICT YOUR FUTURE. 

"So there's this guy..." Yes, guys are awesome but you can't get caught up in a relationship that isn't going anywhere and then let it hold you back. I often joke about my love life, or lack there-of, but you know what? I am thankful, in a sense, for being a part of the "perfectly lonely" (thanks, John Mayer) club for one reason. I found out who I want to be, what I want in life, and I'm not settling for anything less than what I deserve. Yep, it's forward but it's honest. All along, I've been the single one, the third wheel, and whatever else you want to call "ALONE," to put it bluntly, but I have come to appreciate it. I have been able to stand back and really think about what I want. Not just for now, but in the long run. 

If you're a girl and you're reading this, please don't settle for someone who takes you for granted or someone who just needs a crutch for the moment. You will end up hurt and that just sucks. Just stay away if you sense any immediate red flags. You're a smart cookie, so act like it.

 The same goes for guys- don't settle for a girl with no motive to do anything but rely upon you for attention, money, and well, more attention. We all know one of them. 

4. DRESS LIKE YOU'RE THE BOSS.

Lonely Island, thank you for giving me a theme song to walk into work/school everyday. 

Really though, dress like you would if you were getting promoted at your job today. If you're still in college, dress like you're going to pass your ex every day on your way to class. Oh yeah, I knew that one would get you. Now you're looking fly. #iwokeuplikethis #flawless #thanksqueenbey

The other day I saw a grown man wearing PAJAMA PANTS at a college football game. Sir, you are not in bed, you look like a dirty hobo, and it's nearly 100 degrees outside today. You don't make sense and you look like a dum dum. Rant is over. 

If you want me to say this about you, go ahead and wear pajama pants in public. Pics or it didn't happen. Just kidding, I'm not encouraging you to actually do it. 

OH! DON'T FORGET YOUR LIPSTICK!!

 

5. LOOK AT YOUR SCHEDULE AND BE SPONTANEOUS.

It's important to have lazy days. HOWEVER, not every weekend. Sit down right after you read this and start writing down the things that you have always wanted to do. Make that list, start planning, and actually go through with it. THESE ARE YOUR 20'S, PEOPLE, YOU DON'T HAVE FOREVER TO BE SPONTANEOUS. 

Go to Coachella, go to Europe, go on a mini road-trip. Do something awesome before you're too cool aka OLD to be rational. 

Photo from Siesta Key during the end of Summer 2013. My German "sister"  came to visit the states so we were all like "let's drive 18 hours to Florida!" We packed up and headed out a day later. Spontaneity at it's finest. 


Wow, congrats, you've made it to the end of my post without stabbing your eyes out. Hopefully you've enjoyed it. 

You're a 20-something, right? Good, thanks for stopping by my blog! Leave a comment below, por favor! 

(I still love you even if you're not a 20-something)

Create your own Hollywood.

OMG! GEORGE CLOONEY IS MARRIED NOW? 

C'mon people, why do you care?!

Lately I have seen so many ridiculous headlines over social media and TV (E! News is the worst perpetrator). I'm not talking about headlines such as Ebola, ISIS, the government, or any other serious topic. No, the things that have been making more headlines are celebrity weddings, whatever North West wore to coordinate with her mom, or the latest idiocracy involving Justin Bieber. I love stupid reality TV shows as much as the next gal, but when can we put an end to the seemingly importance of these topics?

Good question. 

It's about time that we start focusing on ourselves rather than the lives of celebrities that have no idea that we even exist. 

OUCH. That hurts, right? You should probably realize sooner rather than later that Ryan Gosling is not going to show up at your door saying "Hey Girl...".

It's true, isn't it? They care about their Hollywood, their own world, the people in their world. Why would you want to impress them, anyway? Focus your attention on the people that you love and care for. 

Create your own little Hollywood with what you've been blessed with. There are things in your life that, if focused upon, can make you infinitely happier than any reality TV show or chocolate (yeah, i went there). 

Self appreciation.

Everyone talks about it, it's in every issue of Seventeen, but have you really ever stopped to think about what you LOVE about yourself? If you are sitting here reading this and thinking that you don't love anything about yourself then you're either 1. LYING TO YOURSELF or 2. not thinking hard enough. Sure, there are a lot of things about myself that I wish I could instantly change, but there is a longer list of qualities that I love. 

Conceited. Are you thinking that yet? If you are, stop. I wish so badly that confidence and self-appreciation weren't so closely linked to cockiness. 

Ok, yes, they are similar in meaning but SO different at the same time. Confidence means that you have accepted yourself. You're at peace with yourself. You love yourself. On the contrary, cockiness means that you flaunt yourself. You gloat about yourself. You are insecure with yourself. Cockiness is a result of the sum of these three components, especially the last. Stop putting up a front and be real with the people who stand beside you. There's no need to play games with those who care about the REAL you. 

So, what is the meaning of "Creating Your Own Hollywood," you ask? In the real Hollywood, there are a lot of things related to the word fake: fake personalities, fake lives on the big screen, and, of course, a few fake bodies all thanks to plastic surgeons. Instead of following in the footsteps of A-Listers, start to surround yourself with the reals in your life: real friends, real love, and real honesty.

You see, Hollywood seems glamorous and all, but some celebrities thrive on praise, fame, and wealth. Those things are great, but must be accompanied by qualities that are much, much deeper. 

 

GET THE GIRL (in 5 easy-peesy-lemon-squeezy steps!)

I always like to have a good giggle when I hear guys complain about women and how we make their heads hurt. Us gals are actually so easy to figure out. So much so, that it probably makes the simplicity of our actions seem complex. 

My roommate and I always vent to each other about our girly trials and tribulations. We've come to an agreement that girls definitely aren't the most confusing creatures ever (perhaps men are the crazy ones), and here's why:

1. If you want to know something about us, just ask. 

So, if you're talking to a girl and want to know more about her, bite the bullet and ask. Girls are "taught," if I may, to be mysterious, to make the guy chase her, etc. She will probably be ecstatic to reveal more about herself and her story to you. 

2. Don't be crazy, and we won't be crazy. 

Luckily I haven't had too many situations to add to my Burn Book (just kidding- I don't own one), but holy cow, some of my best friends have. Use common sense when talking/interacting with girls. AKA- don't brag about how many girls you've been with, don't critique our looks, don't comment on our actions if we're a little moody every now and again (we ARE girls after all, hormones are a thing). 

3. When it comes to texting, don't play games. 

I absolutely hate texting unless, of course, I'm trying to get to know someone. Once I'm invested in a conversation and don't get a text back, I wait. and wait. and wait. 

"Should I double-text? No, Shelby, don't do it. GAHHH you did it, you idiot!"

This might not be what every girl thinks, but thoughts like this happen on occasion when I'm left in the dark. Don't beat around the bush, dudes. We just want to know you better! 

Don't waste my time. If you see things going downhill, say so- don't go MIA. 

4. Don't lead us on. 

This is straight-to-the-point. Don't seem interested in us and then go public with another relationship. 

What. 

5. Make an effort and don't go back on your word.

Sometimes girls feel so crazy for trying to initiate seeing their person of interest. Just invite them to do little things with you- they will be happy as long as they get an invite to hang out with you! Hello?!

While we're on this topic, if you extend an invite to see them, don't cancel once you've committed. It breaks down your credibility and accountability, believe it or not. The girl will probably say "No worries!" because they really like you....but it's not all hunky-dory. 

 

Be yourself. Do cute things. Say cute things, and VOILA. You caught a good one.